Let’s face it, driving is awesome. You travel many times faster than you could walking, and you do it incased in hundreds of pounds of metal powered by dinosaur-era hydrocarbons. However, there are some downsides to driving that you just can’t avoid.
Red lights when you are late for something
Is there some kind of traffic signal deity that simply knows when you are late for something, and adjusts the stop lights accordingly? If a trip normally takes ten minutes, and you have to be there in ten minutes, that’s always the day these round red jerks conspire to make you twice as late.
All green lights when you are trying to eat in the car
We’ve all been in a hurry, and had to scarf down a burrito or a hamburger while on the road. However, even getting your tasty meal out of the bag takes a few moments of concentration, and without any red lights, you are forced to go hungry while you pay attention to driving so that you don’t die. Where were these green lights when you were late?
Having to parallel park and there are people there
Unless you are some kind of stunt driver, you spend most of your time in a car going forward. (If you ARE a stunt driver, congrats, that job sounds awesome.) Parallel parking, however, means you have to have the car go backwards, at a weird angle, while turning at the perfect angle, then turning at a perfect angle again, all while not hitting anything. It’s one of the most difficult non-stunt driving moves, and even expert parkers and mess up now and then. However, it’s WAY worse when there’s an audience of people watching, every curious passerby watching you spaz out and come into the parking spot all wrong, again and again and again.
The paralyzing fear of having a cop drive behind you
You’re car is running fine, you’re driving perfectly normally, and there are currently no warrants out for your arrest. Why then does your brain start going “OMG OMG OMG is he running my plate he’s running my plate I’m going to get arrested I need to turn up there, will he think I’m making a break for it how soon should I signal HOW SOON SHOULD I SIGNAL!?”
Leather seats too hot in the summer
Leather seats look nice, and are a great accessory if you like the idea of traveling atop the skins of dead cows. However in the summer, 30 seconds after parking your car, leather seats become the approximate temperature of the surface of the sun. In pants it is merely uncomfortable, but if you are wearing short shorts or a skirt (don’t you DARE judge me), it feels like you sat down on a hot iron skillet. A luxurious hot iron skillet, but a skillet nevertheless.
Following someone to their packing spot, and they aren’t leaving
The world is increasingly too full of people, and no place drives his home like mall parking lots on weekends. There isn’t a single spot to park, so what do you do? You follow the dude walking around with his keys out. When keys-guy gets into his car, drops something off, then gives you the “I’m not leaving just dropping something off” wave, you feel betrayed. You followed this man with the hope of a great reward, and he just let you down and wasted your time. It’s the same feeling you get when you are into politics.
